Start All about dating and courtship

All about dating and courtship

All this will have often happened before the man has initiated a clear conversation about his intention to marry the girl and before his or her parents or church community have been consulted.

In Song of Solomon 2:7, 3:5 and 8:4 we are pleaded with to not stir up or awaken love before it pleases.

I would argue that it clearly does "not please" when it's with someone who is not fully committed to us or with someone we are not fully committed to and thus we should be aiming to not stir up love too much outside of engagement. I find it hard to think of a better way of harming someone than stirring up their love to the point they are completely in love and then breaking things off.

1 Corinthians shows that the unmarried woman is anxious about pleasing the Lord and not a man.

Thus any type of behaviour that leads us to be anxious about pleasing a man before we are married (which boyfriend/girlfriend relationships arguably do) should be avoided.

In my dealings with the topic biblical courtship, I have found that, to my disappointment and often discouragement, there seems to be a lot of opinion but regrettably, a real lack of clarity.

Reading many articles, talking with other believers, and being a believer who is currently in a courtship myself, I have found myself wrestling vigorously with the different ideologies which are flying about in answer to the following question: How do we, as followers of Jesus Christ, engage in courtship in a biblical way, a way in which honours and glorifies God, leaving both parties obedient to the Word?

It would be naive to think only physical affection stirs up lust.